Park Days

I've been MIA, I know. The last 5 days feel like a big, fat blur. I worked 4 nights in a row (stupidly agreed to work for a coworker, my own fault). And Bianca was ill all weekend - cough and runny nose. And there was a baby shower. And there was a birthday party. And there was a park.

For starters, one of my neighbors is expecting her baby next month. Of course, a small shower was held to celebrate. I managed to help out and stop by before heading off to night shift...

(please note... I did NOT have a glass of wine... 1st time thank you!)

And then the park. Bianca and I sometimes go there every-s0-often when we need to get out of the house. Today I packed up snacks, sippy cup, a blanket, and my camera for a lovely late afternoon in the park. Every time I go I run into somebody new and strike up a convo while my daughter plays with their son/daughter. It's a great way to meet other parents and for Bianca to have playtime with other kiddos. She loves it and I love getting outside and doing something fun/free.

Today was a bit different. I guess every girl is a bit excited/loves to look at a good-looking Italian boy. Bianca seems to be no different. We met a mother and father who brought their son to the park. They were speaking Italian. His big, brown eyes met hers and it was OVER. His mom said, "Can you give her a kiss?" The 13-month-old dark haired boy looked at Bianca and smacked his lips, blowing her a kiss. Great.... my daughter was mesmerized by an Italian boy this evening.

Of course, Bianca has been to Italy (in utero), so maybe the language was something she recognized. Doubt it. I'm gonna say she just loved this little man. And he was sooooo good at soccer. I mean, the little dude was running and kicking the ball at the same time - 13 months old and 25 pounds. Not exactly "little", I guess, compared to my 19lb'er. I'm gonna have to keep my eye on this girl.

Just a little "ditty" here. My Aunt Pammy calls her poems Ditties. I've been jotting a few down here and there. I needed some therapy after this weekend.

if i could be better i would

if i could heal more i would

please God, instill in me wisdom

in a job where every part of my being is for someone else

in a job where every choice i make is for others

please God, teach me to not be selfish

there are times i am still sad

there are times i don’t know how to react

please God, give me compassion

i’ve held a daughter after losing her mother

i’ve held a mother after losing her baby

please God, give me strength

i’ve seen people at their frailest

i’ve told people their lives will never be the same

please God, help me to understand Your ways

i come home to a healthy family

i come home and i have to push it all away

please God, help me to move on

in a job where you do not hear thanks

in a place where people don’t want to be

please God, help me to feel appreciated

all i want is to make a difference

all i want is to make others feel good

please God, help me to heal